The first night

it was Friday March 17 1977. Crete finally moved out of the station Victoria, London while the weather was overcast that lasted more than two weeks is still tense. Upon arrival at Folkstone, port city in east coast UK, like other passengers, Bastian must continue the journey by ferry. Before climbing the ship, he had looked into the gray sky, longing for the sun that was still reluctant to show up since last week. Fortunately the air in late spring was quite comfortable. And once inside the ship, Bastian decided immediately to the deck. There he saw a lot of the blond teenager sat down to meet all the benches and chairs are available. On average they wore jeans, sneakers and jacket. There is a large duffel bags and small scattered around them. Everything looks happy. Singing along with the noisy accompaniment of guitar and harmonica. Bastian stepped up to the rail. He stood there looking at the circumstances surrounding the harbor. Soon the ship away from the dock, and dock Itupun more and more dazed from view. Then vanished into the mist. A flock of seagulls follow the ship flying. Some dived into the sea fish scramble. Sea water spilled over by ship, leaving the foam that extends to the rear. And as he stood watching it, without realizing ingatannyapun extended into the past, to their homeland, to which Indonesia is now for him no more than an act that was long over, but not likewise forgotten. Again Narti stop in his memory. He closed his eyes. Trying to find the answer to the question: why do these days he often thought of the woman. Why now at the heart of a widespread desire increases even when he knows that now is not Narti old Narti. With shortness of breath he took. A kenyerian of guilt that it could not feel so dibenarkannya wring. From the beginning he knew that he had lost Narty, it was impossible to realize his dreams with Narty. But why is it only now that he really felt lost? A loss is not supposed to happen. A failure that could have dihindarkannya if he wanted. After completing studynya in English literature nine years ago, he wanted to satisfy his desire traveling abroad. And the only way open when it was just a sailor ships of foreign oil. When she expressed her desire to be a good opportunity memfaatkan to Narty hoping Narty will approve and support. But Bastian miscalculated. Narty was not like he knew all along. He really did not think that would not agree Narty. And Narty disagreement is based on reasons that can not be accepted at all. He still remembers the later flare occurred. Narty time can not think up. Narty still so childish. Concern in case of separation and new experiences that will be pursued later Bastian overseas will make it forget Bastian and change course, when it can only be interpreted by Bastian as evidence of the shallowness of her understanding Narty and her distrust him. And he felt he had done much to convince Narty so do not ever doubt his love. Through words and actions he has repeatedly shown his sincerity to formally institutionalize their relationship. But Narty want to be made soon. "Soon?" "What else should we wait?. My parents had one hundred percent agree." Narty words like indicting. "We have a lot to brown first, Ty. You know I do not work. I do not dare to marry before a job." "It does not need you to think." "You mean?" "I've talked to Papa. Papa says happened in his office there was a position that was vacant and could you fill. You certainly do not mind?" Narty said with a smile sulk. "You mean the one office I worked with your dad?" "What's wrong?" "One office with your brothers, your uncle. Nephew and brothers of the other?" "Yes. What's wrong?. And if you want to accept the job, Dad said we would get a free home and vehicle. Just all wrong." Narty said proudly. Bastian took a deep breath, then shook his head. "Why are you shaking?. It would not hurt, right?" "One's not. But it's hard!" Bastian said. "Difficult?" Hard! "" Ah, I know what the difficulty, Bas. You would feel awkward to talk directly at Papa to express approval. Right? "Narti terseyum, because he believed it was true dugaanyang."'s Not the point. "" Ah, do not worry. Later I'll say. You've been quiet. "" Narti! "" Yes? "" I told you. Not the point! "" Then, because what? "Bastian did not answer directly. Expression indicates efforts to find the words right." What is it? "Narty urged impatiently." I want to look for experience. "Bastian said, as apart from a heavy burden. "Looking for experience?" repeated Narty assured. "Looking for experience .... looking for ....."" Do you think that by accepting the position offered you Papa will not get experience? "" From the little I used to dream can abroad. Want to search abroad experience. "Regardless Narty he said." Yes, look for experience abroad. "She repeated as addressed to himself. Narty karuan just laughed. He was not able to hide kegeliannya hear confession that she recalled Bastian never uttered before . 'What's that you think is funny? "Bastian said seriously." Why should the way for overseas experience, and experience of working at home can not you? "Narti mellihat Bastian face suddenly changed." Sorry, "he said , "...... I mean people who have to go work abroad was not it mostly because it can not work in their own country ..." "And that you think is funny, huh?" said Bastian, a rising tone. "Bas I do not think you could be so naive! "" Naive? "" Apparently you can not imagine myself. Position it would open a big opportunity for you to travel abroad. To many countries, Bas!. To many countries! "" How do you know? "" Ah, how I know! From Papa dong! Papa said so, koq! Yes, like Papa. Often go abroad for work. "" What have you to offer a deep thought? "Bastian said. The confusion seen in Narty face when he asked:" Why else would think? "" Did you think about what will people think? " "You mean?" "Your father put his people, his family and his brothers own. Moreover, it was done in a government department. Do not you think your father's reputation? Are you not ashamed that your father was branded using office for personal and family interests? Selecting people based on favoritism and nepotism? "" Ah, that's Daddy! "" Papa's business? "" Besides that it's so common. On the other department department too! Even more ugly! Yes, who does not use position for personal gain? What you can give an example? "Bastian was silent. He tried to draw a long breath without looking Narti." That's Daddy, Bas. You need not worry. What is important for both of us you can sit there and held the position that allows you to realize ambition to travel abroad. "" Okay. That's your father. Business he is if he memfaatkan position and kewenanganya for his own family interests. And ... yes, it was not him alone who do so. Well, I'm not going to wide long-winded about it. Later I was branded an idealist ass! "Narty looked offended. There kecemberutan lines that really do not want her show, but it was obvious." From the beginning you're self-idealist! "She snapped with emotion," And if you want to succeed in such crazy times now, people should not be idealistic daydreamer daydreamer-puritanical self-righteous, self-troubling reputation and public interest, but the realist jelly-realist take advantage of circumstances with a pragmatic attitude! "Bastian again silenced. He was astonished at what is usually talked Narti always gentle a voice so sharp. "Look," continued the girl getting excited, "the younger leaders force ...... yes, previously they were so noisy demonstrations condemning all ills, all forms of corruption, injustice and penyalahkan - use ...... but so soft ... dikasi office er, their voices never sounded again. They just go do what used to be the target of their keceman! "" You're right, Ty. You're right. "Bastian said as surrender to calm her." People really idealistic people who fail to understand and take advantage of the demands of reality, and find strength in the world of ideas, theories collected here and there to condemn realist-realist works! "Bastian stunned. He did not think could Narty words like that." Ah, Ty, I mean actually much simpler. "he said after a long silence, and he deliberately stopped to wait for the reaction Narty. But Narty just looked at briefly and then turned his face. "Can I go on?" Bastian said cautiously. Narty silent. "I mean this. Later there would be only certain people who berpenilaian that without your father's no way I'll be able to get the position you are offering it. For me it is very necessary to think about. And more necessary because their assessment was not wrong! "" Bas, why do we have to think about what other people say while we do not concern them? "Narty said in a tone that high again," if we give rights to others to interfere with our affairs, to influence us, it's not their fault. One of our own! Our own fault! "Bastian gasped again." My father always told me, "continued Narty too." Someone else's, if we fail, they laughed. If we succeed, they ngiri. Awry. Why not have neglected! "" But Ty, you have to understand. Another person's assessment in accordance with my own words. "" You mean? "" Other people's assessment may not kuperdulikan. But what was whispered by my inner voice I can not deny. "Now change Narty silent. A clear picture of disappointment on his face." Ty, I hope you do not misinterpretation. To offer your father is not easy to get it I'm very grateful ...." "But with great regret to refuse it .... do not you think you want to say?" Narty cut sharply. "We have to refuse for the sake of my dignity intact!" Bastian was another pause. "If that's the point, you've put your pride on the wrong place, Bastian. I do not think anyone could succeed without the help and support of others. There are times when we must humbly allow ourselves to be helped because the later will come the same time we have to help. I think life is already so there should be. Yeah, right, Bas? "" Narty! "Bastian suddenly shouted. And that was the first time he had shouted at her, so Narty shocked. A pair of beautiful eyes wide as his chest rose and fell. He immediately tried to hide the surprise, but he felt did not succeed. "Be angry if you want to be mad. All that kutakan because I love you. Because I want us to be together. To be worthy of our lives. So that our descendants can be guaranteed. Have a hope and future, "said she, almost crying." Everyone had such a desire, Narti. I'm no exception. But am I wrong if I tried to reach it with my own way and? Not in a way that offered by your parents? Not the way you want? What I expect from you and your parents rather than help, Narty. Just understanding. No more than that. If you do love me why you can not give more than an understanding of life choices that have I decided? "" Choice contains many risks. I can not imagine what you can accomplish by working on the ship, by looking at the experience overseas. After all, it is unclear to me what you mean by looking for experiences outside the country. Everything was blurred. "" It is completely blurred. But believe in one or two years to come it will become clear. "" Why do all that we have to wait? And if you accept the offer Papa, it soon became clear without having to wait. "" So you want me to work, go home early evening. Into the environment where the opportunity is given to people who are not closer to a more appropriate person, where compliance is more valued than the ability, where performance is determined ultimately by the end of the pen, in which intelligence is more decisive licking promotion? "Narty slowly slowly lowered his head. He tried menyembuyikan eyes suddenly berllinang cascade behind her hair. "Narty Besides, there, in an environment like that, yesterday, today and tomorrow is like rolling a wheel. Every day there are always events and experiences, but all will dissolve only in keberulangan daily life, routine is always and necessarily. Environment with a similar scene, a similar requirement and similar issues. Environment where all people trying to find the face and look for opportunities of corruption. Should efforts already struggle kutempuh life since I entered elementary school ended with letting myself stuck in such environments? Does life have to kulakoni the resignation to be in an actual fact I did not like, but other options are not there? "Narty not answer. And since then he never replied. With a very mournful heart Bastian left the country, leaving the beloved Narty . Two years later he returned with the intention of proving the promise and his love for her. But the way of life can not be ascertained. Narty Bastian have already married. even been blessed with a son. Nearly half of desperation, he decided to once again choose to work in ship, once again leaving the country, but with a determination: he will attempt to completely throw all the memories that made her chest disarati Baban. Tamparan intensified sea breeze hitting his body. The air was biting now. He buttoned his jacket. Soon the ferry was docked at the harbor pier west of Calais in France. The journey now must continue with kreta fire. It was night, and had a bit late at night when the wheels roll kreta fire in the city of Paris. High-rise buildings, flashing on the right - left. Millions menyemaraki scattered electric lights at night. So this is Paris. The city is for some reason have not been visited before. The city is always mentioned by Honore de Balzac, Alexander Dumas and Guy de Maupassant in their novels are very impressive. He can not wait to through the streets of Paris who never gave the impression that the romance in the life of Armand Duval Rastinag or read from the novel. But before it could do, he had to meet Ruben Sugandi, a friend in high school bench. I do not know how many years he never met with Ruben Sugandi. It seemed so long. What he knew of another friend, Ruben has spent years living in Paris. They say he had married a French woman and had two children. They settled in Paris. For travel Bastian entering Paris was very exciting. It seemed so short when she realized kreta started toward the station Gare Du Nord.untuk then stopped altogether, but Bastian as reluctant to leave his seat. He deliberately let the other passengers off first. After the queue stretched a little before he rose. Having a small bag containing clothes and some fruit Sekedarnya novels. Once the legs are tired down the stairs kreta, suddenly he was startled by the sound of something falling. A blonde girl, dressed in jeans and a brown leather jacket faded. She was busy collecting belongings were scattered apart on the platform. Apparently, when he dropped a large suitcase up the stairs kreta, its handle broke. The bag was dropped and it threw up a mess. The other passengers did not seem concerned. They walked alone in haste. Standing platform, Bastian hesitated for a moment. She was still busy picking up his belongings scattered in between the legs of the swing a hurry. Then without thinking, again, Bastian helped. "Thank you," she said after all the stuff back in. into a suitcase. "Oh, my journey is still long," she said as if addressing to himself. He bercik-bercik wiped sweat from his brow with one hand. "I do not understand how I now this damn suitcase," he added, without looking at Bastian. But like the new Bastian noticed, suddenly staring at him.